Someone asks how you’re doing.

It’s easy to say “I’m fine." In fact, in many social situations it’s practically required.

“I’m fine” doesn’t mean you’re “fine;” it probably just means, “now isn’t the right time to go into how I’m really feeling.”

But when is the right time? Who is the right person to talk to?

Here’s what I figured out.

Emotions are like messages that want to be acknowledged.

Every experience that you didn’t or couldn’t fully deal with at the time produces some emotional ju-ju that is waiting to be processed.

It could be anger you swallowed for fear of retribution, grief you postponed because you’re too busy with work, or feelings that come up when an argumentative asshole had a really good point but is such an ass, so ughhh!

The emotions which arise at these times don’t go away. Instead, they stack up while you ignore them. And they ought not be left waiting too long.

If you’re feeling a low-key background tension that’s always present, it may just be your emotional inbox overflowing.

10 questions. No email required. Just for you.

This isn’t a diagnosis. It’s a way to see how much crap has been piling up so you can decide when enough is enough.

Your results are yours.

If you want to talk about what came up, Book a free 30-minute call. No commitment, just an honest conversation.

Why I made this.

Years ago I established a men’s group in Tokyo just so I could talk about stuff.

I’d been playing “nice guy” for decades. Meanwhile my actual emotional state was a mess I couldn’t share with anyone.

Growing up, I got the idea that I shouldn’t express anger. I’m not sure where I learned it, but I know I picked it up along the way. And it wasn’t just anger. It was sadness, fear, grief, shame all in a messy soup in my heart. I kept it all locked down because that felt safer.

I established ManKind Project Japan and have been facilitating men’s circles for over a decade in Tokyo and online.

Here’s what I’ve seen hundreds of times: one honest conversation can settle a nervous system. Men walk into a circle carrying years of unprocessed stuff, and after a single conversation where they can be witnessed, we often say the same thing: “I feel so much better just talking about it."

I wrote a book called I’M FINE! because I learned the hard way that emotions don’t go away just because you ignore them.

This quiz is a small version of that. Share your answers with a trusted friend or someone else you can trust.
I don’t even care if you talk to me; I just want you to stop lying to yourself that you can handle it all alone.