Monday, February 23, 2026, 09:26 AM

• Are you carrying too much?

• Are you handling it alone?

Men, we need to talk.

Not necessarily you and me. I mean we, as men.

Ten years ago, I established a men’s group in Tokyo just so I could talk about stuff!

Many men today report feeling lonely. Across cultures, we’ve learned to endure in silence.

After a heart-to-heart conversation with me or in my men’s group, men often say they feel:

• calmer
• clearer
• relieved
• less anxious
• more focused

That clarity comes from finally seeing what’s been clogging your mind and cluttering your thoughts.

Here in Japan, emotional restraint and harmony are valued. In the West, independence and self-reliance are praised.

These are quite different cultures but the same pattern arises: we don’t talk about stuff.

Instead, the inner chaos shows up as irritability, rumination, shame, hiding, isolation, loneliness… Oh crap, it’s a trap!

One honest conversation can help settle a nervous system. I’ve seen and heard it hundreds of times: “I feel so much better just talking about it.”

Still reading? Here’s a simple way forward:

• Talk to a buddy about real stuff. He’ll appreciate you reaching out.
• If you don’t have a buddy, talk to someone you trust and be honest for five minutes.
• If that feels hard, sit in a men’s group. (e.g. https://mkpjapan.org/)
• If groups feel uncomfortable, reach out to me. (https://robnugen.com/contact)
• If you want anonymity, contact a lifeline. (e.g. https://telljp.com/ in Japan or https://befrienders.org/ worldwide)

You can’t solve your entire life with one conversation, but you can feel calmer today.