07 Apr 2021, 04:54

My answers for Tales That Tethr

When you think of your mental health or wellbeing journey, what stands out to you as a defining moment (this might mean a turning point or a period of struggle and change)?

I can think of multiple defining moments in my life, arguably my
wellbeing.

One was discovering Mankind Project when I was 27 years old.  At
that point, I was afraid of men, did not want to be a man, and
still thought of myself as a boy.  Attending Mankind Project's
NWTA weekend, I recognized I already *was* a man physically, and
had all the support I needed to grow internally into the man I had
become outwardly.

My then-girlfriend/fiance Wende saw the changes in me and decided
to attend Woman Within's initiation weekend.

After we had each done our respective weekend trainings
individually, as a couple, our ability to communicate skyrocketed.
We each dropped our previous shaming and blaming language and took
responsibility for our own thoughts and emotions.  Basically, "my
emotions are mine, and have nothing to do with you."

About two years later, when Wende and I broke up, there was no
fight or shame.  Just mutual respect and understanding.

Another defining moment was after marrying my wife in Japan.  I
realized I needed support with my anger issues and re-started a
men's group in Japan.  Stepping into a leadership role felt super
scary and was not something I wanted to do!

I am still leading the men's group now, and it has been pivotal in
my internal growth, guiding me to take more courses in various
types of facilitation and counseling.

Looking back on that time, what advice would you give your younger self?

Think less and follow my joy/courage/desire more often and with less thinking.