Entries this day: Dream_where's_my_car one_request

Dream where's my car

9:20am Saturday 28 June 2008

With my family (dad, mom, brother) after a huge day shopping. My dad grabbed a huge case of beer, that by al rights should have shattered cause the volume of beer was so great compared to the size of the bottles. He hefted it up to the counter and paid for it. Put it in the car and I was driving with my mom in passenger seat to my right, and dad and brother in the back. I wasn't happy with the beer; I had wanted something a bit more healthy to drink.

It was time to leave and they were all tired, so when we got to the parking garage, t was "diriving" a shopping cart, with my family all the the back of the cart, asleep. I was set on finding the car in the parking lot, but wasn't sure where my dad had parked it. Went down one aisle where I thought I'd find the car, but it was a bit dark, so I couldn't see it so well, and it may not have even been that aisle. Went down farther away than I knew it had been, tureed around and came up another aisle, still with family silently sleeping in back. Got back up to the shopping mall, and then turned back around to go down the first aisle again, but there was a car in the way. I lifted up the shopping cart, and a woman was like, "wtf are you doing???" and I was like, "look at that car," and she finally calmed down and realized that the cart literally wouldn't fit between the car and the next car.

So I lifted the cart up over the cars so I could walk through. Then sat back down on it and rolled toward the end of the aisle, and could hear the car revving behind us; I ducked my cart into a little space, and waited for the car to go by. Turned out it was just a motorcycle, and he actually stopped sorta next to us, and was all loud, plus stinky exhaust, so I moved my cart a bit and then turned around to check if my family was still sleeping after all the noise.

They were gone.

I was horrified, devestatedly sad. Where's my family? Had they fallen out while asleep? Were they then hit by cars in the parking lot? I saw a woman who worked in the store and was like, "I know I'm crazy, but I'm not crazy; my family was here in my cart, but they're not here now and I don't know where they are or where to look, but I know it will probably be okay." She smiled understandingly. She reminded me of the oracle on the first Matrix movie. I gave her a peck on the cheek as I told her, "if you don't hear any more about this, then it turned out okay."

I went back up to the store area, and thought I saw them, so broke through a security area, but it wasn't them.

Soon thereafter I woke up.

one request

4:01pm Saturday 28 June 2008

I've told Ami a few times that I have one (1) ultimate request from her: I want her truth. I want her to speak truthfully to me no matter what.

I've had to tell her that more than one time, not because she's lied, but because she seems to forget that it's my request, which becomes apparent when I'm like, "yo main, whatchoo thinkin'?" and she's unable to tell me, and I'm like, you can tell me; you can tell me anything. Do you remember the one (1) thing I want from you?"

no.

Okay, well, yeah I told you I want to know what's true for you.

( but that's not why I'm writing )

One of my pet peeves / fears / issues is when people don't listen to me.

So, I specified my number 2 request from Ami that I'd like her to listen to my truth.

So, just now when she was like, "what are you thinking?" cause we're having a bit of an issue with scheduling, and me not understanding why Ami would invite her friend to one thing, find out I'm not going, and then cancel with her friend to go to my thing. It's a bit too stalky for me, and as I was telling her, Ami walked out of the room

to go pee, but it's like, wtf? I'm not just talking to you, but I'm answering your fucking question, and you walk out on my answer?

Damn.

10:15am Sunday 29 June 2008

Overall, it escalated to a pretty decent fight; she points out that I've been pretty selfish in terms of asking her to come do all various things with my friends, but I'm not as willing to go do things with her friends. I cite the reason as basically her friends' idea of fun is to go out drinking and smoking, whereas my PB friends go out and raise money for charity while drinking (and not as much smoking), and my meditation friends go meditate.

I tried to explain why I think meditation is important, but my crap Japanese doesn't get the point across. I think she thinks it's selfish. I tried to explain it's only due to my meditation practice that I wasn't yelling at her during the fight. If Hitomi and I had had the same fight, I would have hit the wall or overturned a desk. But in this case with Ami and several moments of meditation under my belt, I sat calmly, just noticing the urges to toss shit around.

I thought at one point she was going to break up with me. I hoped at one point she was going to break up with me. But she explained what she meant by ��؁i�������j, in this case, basically make efforts to spend time with your partner's friends.

We went to Matt's birthday party last night, and I stuck with Mark the whole night, perhaps cause he's the first of Ami's friends who I really liked, plus his wife is hot. To a degree I have gotten past the initial shell of talking with him into more interesting topics, but not yet with her other friends (Brian and Naoki are two with whom I'd be happy to try).

Aight it's 10:30; I gotta get to work by noon: first day at new job, getting passwords and getting stuff sorted out so I can work tomorrow.