Entries this day: Dream_dogs_and_angel_fish Left_hand_writing Men's_group Talking_to_Kevin Talking_to_Steve

Dream dogs and angel fish

7:40am JST Friday 21 September 2007 (day 13694)

Outside at a ski resort, with lots of friends around, watching a little sidewalk pond thing as translucent angel fish that looked more like piranha were coming up to the surface to get a chance to breathe air or bite the dogs that were interested in biting the fish.

The dogs were patiently waiting for the right fish to come up, be they waiting for angel fish or gold fish.

As I was looking down, I noted my friend the ski instructor had taken off his boots, leaving them in the way of the sidewalk. I threw some snow at him and he instantly whipped some back at me, harder than I had thrown it at him.

I watched a promotional video of the ski thing; we would be able to go backwards down the slope, which allowed us to do a flip at the end and come down forward toward the start again. I thought it was a great idea, but didn't know if I'd be able to go down backwards at the beginning.

Left hand writing

8:27am JST Friday 21 September 2007 (day 13694)

Just let me write no worries.

.. t be all you can be and then to write more faster itf you let it flow it will go

and try writing backwards

hard .. no practice hard to write every day writing please

GO TO SLEEP JUST TLET ME WRITE AND IT WILL GET BETTER ONLY HAVE TO PRACTICE And grow stronger we can do it just try try so now what are you going to do she asked I shrugged as usual

WHY SO HARD TO WRITE?

THESE MUSCLES ARE NOT SO BAD?

TRY BACKWARDS AGAIN

To have a goal is most important and ow we have one. its just over here here

TO MUCH COMPUTER HURTS

I DONT LIKE IT PLEASE

In the beginning it will hurt but get used to it real quick

10 MIN MEDITATION BETTER dan 5

write to DAN AGain

gots to go

Men's group

8:42am JST Friday 21 September 2007 (day 13694)

Headed off to men's group for the weekend.

9:18am JST

I have enough time to get ready (buy food and train tickets), but gotta move now.

12:50am JST Saturday 22 September 2007 (day 13695)

I recommend this training by Steve Kushner. Good stuff.

Doing golden magician work as opposed to shadow magician work. Using our magicians to process our stuff, which requires a different method. The warrior likes to get in there, do our work and go home. The warrior thinks that if he doesn't do the work now, we'll never be able to get healed, and never even have access to this wound again. The magician knows that's not true. If we have an issue, we can access it at anytime; we just need to talk about it.

So what we're going to do is process our work in three discrete phases; we could do more, but this number is what he's found works.

First, we just set up the scene. Mine:

David, representing my deepest fear: "I'll never master my professional life, meaning I will always work to make money at a job instead of doing what I love and making money at that." He's sitting at a computer saying, "this is all I can do; this is all I can do..."

񐒢, representing my deepest shame: I can't speak up. He's sitting behind the computer in a ball on the floor saying, "no one cares; no one cares..."

I went first today. I set up the scene, and they ran it, and I was like, oh shit; that's my life. oh shit; this is going to be some good (hard) work...

Then Steve was like, "okay that't it; we just want to set up the scene and we'll work on it tomorrow." I was shocked. "The magician needs time to percolate; to dream; to see how things feel and choose the best solution..."

I really appreciate getting a better understanding of the archetypes we use in this work.

Talking to Kevin

12:51am JST Saturday 22 September 2007 (day 13695)

I've really enjoyed talking with Kevin today. He must have a PhD in all things metaphysical. He's done all kinds of trainings with different shamen, Vipassana, Monroe Institute, spent months meditating in temples, and more more more. Dang.

I was telling him today about the alien stuff I've been reading, and most recently about the Gnostic teachings about aliens wanting earth to be in chaos because they thrive off our negative energy.

He was like, "yeah, it just depends on if you have a dualistic view of the universe or a Oneness view of the universe. If you're a dualist, no matter what the traditions, the stories end up that the bad guys are fighting the good guys, be it Satan vs Jesus, or ____ vs _____ (*), or vampires trying to eat your soul. If you believe we are all one, then the stories all fall apart because what I do to you I'm actually doing to myself and vice versa.

(*) he gave a couple of other good vs evil examples from different belief systems.

"But maybe there's some validity to [dualism]. You know they say that the best way to ward off the bugaboos is to live life with purity of intention. If you live life thinking that you have something to gain by taking energy or whathaveyou away from another being, then you're living in duality, and attract other beings that believe they can strike a deal with you, saying 'I'll give you this if you let me eat your brain, or whatever it is they want,' and it just builds up until we're all just unbalanced. Unbalanced individually, and unbalanced as a culture."

Talking to Steve

1:06am JST Saturday 22 September 2007 (day 13695)

Steve, in one of his million sidebars, said he could explain how words used to be magic. That back in the day 5, 10, 20 thousand years ago, we didn't have concrete and MTV and cars and all this stuff that blocks us from earth and the universe. Nowadays we are so out of touch with the universe that there's no clear communication.

"I imagine it used to mean we would say, 'I'm hungry; I need a rabbit,' or 'we're hungry; we need a deer,' and the universe would provide one immediately. But now it takes years to manifest anything. "I want a deer," so we arrange a hunting trip with our friends in June..."