State of My Life Address

One of my students asked me if I am normally patient. She was (I believe) referring to the patience required to teach. I think I'm patient when I teach, but I'm not really patient in the rest of my life. I silently want to pass all the hordes of stone-faced Japanese shuffling up/down the steps in the train station; I want my train to be here right now; When I'm alone I walk in high gear all the time. I always try to optimize my path, not waste any time. Continually have a dialogue in my head defending my decisions. (that's a different story)
I have given my email address out to a bunch of students. Probably 20 or so. Almost all women. But not for overt (here I am suddenly defending my actions. Why is it all women? Cause I'm more comfortable flirting with women than I am with men. Cause I want attention from women moreso than men. Even though I want to bring the New Warrior Training to Japan, I have spoken almost exclusively to women about it.) sexual connections (what's optimal here; to stick to my rule that parenthesis should be removable and leave a sentence intact, or to make something legible in other contexts? or just leave it hanging cause I've gone so far off topic?)
I am now living in Frank's old room. The tatami room in our apartment at 101 Bell Wisteria in Tarumachi (between Tsunashima and Okurayama stations), Kouhokuku, Yokohama (near Tokyo), Kanagawa, Japan (small island east of China)
I've been working lots on memorizing a difficult speech in Japanese. I'm impatient to do that now.
Stephanie, my homegirl at Kawasaki, left Nova/Japan after five weeks.
Oh, I remember the point of number 2 above: I have been giving more energy to bringing the new warrior thing to Japan. But the rate at which I'm moving would make it a multiple year project it seems. Fuck that. If somethin's gonna happen, it's gotta happen now. Or close to now. Sometimes I just throw myself at a project and forsake everything else, but projects never (rarely) keep my attention for long. Seems that my journal has captured my imagination for the longest time.
right now all my energy goes to the speech. except for right now when I'm writing and elsewise when I'm at work. I'm really happy that the speech will be over soon after janette arrives; I would hate to be distracted by that when she is here.
janette is coming soon! 3.5 days. Holy shit.

(in a good way)

comments

Name: j

Subject: holy shit

Comment:
holy shit?
as in "o boy! holy shit-wahoo!"?
or, "o no! i'm not ready for this-holy shit"?

Subject: that aries thing

Comment:
hey! i am reallly grateful i get to be there when you give this speech.
i suppose it will be like when i watch you climb a viaduct or a waterfall. i do not worry. i know you will succeed and blow me away in the process with your mastery and power.
that's one of the many,many things i love about you. success is your only fuckin option, failure's not.
and if you need to work on your speech while i am first there with you- well you just go right ahead. i'll just take off my clothes and climb in bed and rub your...oh, sorry. am i distracting you?
am i now? permalink