Entries this day: Work dream janette weather z zz_janette

Work

5:35pm JST Sunday 3 August 2003

Lesson 1: man to man 7C. No show. I had actually prepared (grabbed pairs of jobs flashcards), but ah well.

Lesson 2: Three level 4 women. Kinda quiet, but did okay at speculating the stories behind some funny pictures from _Life Smiles Back_, a compilations of pics from Life Magazine's famous funny photos.

Lesson 3: man to man level 4. She was late, and was wearing some safari looking outfit. She goes, "I'm sorry I'm late; I was hunting tigers." Turns out we're both programmers. Traded email addresses.

Lesson 4: I traded with Benny my three level 5's for his man to man level 6 guy who he didn't want to teach given the comments in the file. I had a nice chat with this cat.

Lesson 5: Two level 7A's. Chef Masaru and new 7A Midori. Lesson was "not much" = "a little" and "not many" = "a few." They did aight.

Lunch: I learned from yuki how to say nishuukanmaekaraomricetabetemasen

Lesson 6: Had four 7As, including two talkative good students and two not so good students (one stuttery and one quiet, who the teachers (not me) call statuko cause she's like a statue). I tried to pay equal attention at different calibres of English to the factions, but I favored the better students.

Lesson 7: (I don't remember; I didn't write it down)

Lesson 8: Two 7Bs: a real quiet kid named Kento and a chatty mom (not his) named Tomoko. I like her. Gave her a level up 2 (Tony gave her LU1 yesterday). She obviously studies effectively outside of class.

dream

11:29pm JST Sunday 3 August 2003

With some friends near a UU congregational meeting, with a discussion about money. I said, "the current system is that we ask members to give money to individual congregations, and the congregations are asked to give money to the UUA in order to be a member of the UUA. But the only fair way is to not require individual members to give money, though we still require the congregation as an entity to give money to the UUA. This preserves individual liberties, but still provides money to the UUA, *if* the UUA and separately, the congregations provide something worthwhile to their members."

I wouldn't have written down this dream, but I woke up as I was giving my little speech.

janette

1:42am JST Monday 4 August 2003

The madness in my mind wonders if I've been fired by janette. I called twice, and the guilty conscious of mine knows that I wrote what previously had only been spoken, so when she didn't answer, and hasn't emailed me recently, I wonder if I'm in trouble.

I hope not; for selfish reasons, I don't want her visit here to suck; the madness has considered paying her back for an imperfect trip to Japan. For positive reasons, I want to remain close; I don't want to have angered my friend.

comments

Comment:
sweet sweet
i hated seeing what you wrote in black and white. (if only you had written in pink. or blue.)
i liked it better when things were "maybe. possibly. probably not, but one never knows! hmmm, how could this work? if it did work... in the meantime, since we don't know...."
it has taken me some time to let the hurt feelings settle and see what the reality is and how to find peace with it. i consciously did "not" fire you in my mind or stay in the blaming path when i felt myself wander there.
i cannot see into the future. i know what my heart wants most of the time. i can even see what my heart refuses to see, sometimes. but i really cannot say for sure what is in my heart. i remember thinking i wanted to marry this one boyfriend i had. i felt it in my heart that we should be together. now i thank god i didn't marry that guy. so now i know i cannot be sure what is in my heart.
this is what i do know.

i love you.
even tho i am the one who put it in words,("i know you are not my mate") i feel sad about being rejected.
i choose to love you in whatever way is healthy for me and you. if that means letting you go and finding someone else to play with, so be it.
i don't *want* to let you go.
i want to play with you.
i love being connected with you. it feels like there is more fun to be had. more lessons to learn from each other.
my connection to you feels nourishing. the thought of being without you now feels like an emptiness and a loss of joy.
but, when i put it on, it also felt like starting over. and there is a sense of freedom and strength there.
we are together for a reason. when it's time to part,i will be ok.
i want to have another adventure with you.
if we stay honest with one another, we will be good friends for a long, long time.
i will think of you as a fornow boyfriend, not a forever boyfriend.
i talk too much.

i heard the phone ring this am and i cried . the irony is ironical. i have been wanting you to call me in the middle of the nite. but i did not answer because my thoughts and emotions were still so raw and jumbled. instead, i waited a while then rode around the lake. and i did not think for a long time.
the second time you called i was taking jack back to denton. on the way home, i thought and thought.
now, i feel better.

i want you to stay committed to not having sex with anyone else until i get there. i will do the same. i am going to have a great time in japan with you. let's face it, we like each other and we know how to have fun.
then we'll just see what happens.
ok?
i love you,rob.

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weather

3:18am JST Monday 4 August 2003

Okay, I did a bit of research (oh, I talked to my dad tonight and that was fun to catch up with him. We didn't do a full 100% catchup, but definitely got more than everything is fine) on weather in Houston and Tokyo.

According to weather.com, Tokyo gets about 1.5 inches more rain than Houston per year, though Houston's rain is more evenly spread throughout the year. (Tokyo 55.4 inches | Houston 54.0 inches)

Houston is definitely hotter than Tokyo. The average is 94 F and 93 F in July and August in Houston (I'm surprised that the average in August is cooler than July), but only 83 F and 87 F in July and August in Tokyo. They're only 87 for one month. We're 90-few for two months. So our summer is hotter and lasts longer.

For fun, I looked up Alice Springs: (avg 96F, 97F, 95F in Dec, Jan, Feb. Only 12 inches of rain per year)

(note to self: do not retire in Alice Springs)

comments

Name: saldoggs

Email: sholl *redacted*

Subject: climate

Comment:
What is interesting to me is how the atmospheric and oceanic circulation differences next to Tokyo and Houston result in the precipitation and temperature differences you wrote about... I go read about it now.
:)
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z

5:00am JST Monday 4 August 2003

Ah geez! Stupid morning!

In the process of going to bed, I saw that Frank was watching _Red Dragon_. Ah. Red Dragon. So I watched it with him.

Now as I'm going to bed, it's fully light outside!

- - - -

Frank says that he should have just killed himself and be done with it. "That's a much more interesting ending - choosing to end his serial killer career for love."

"But I liked Ralph Fienne's tattoo. That was money."

I'm going to bed now soon as I finish this entry and copy it to my site. Will meet Satoko at noon at Cinecitta for lunch.

ps: Frank watched the eyeball chewing scene twice.

zz janette

5:08am JST Monday 4 August 2003

Make that, I'm talking to janette right now cause I just got an email from her. I appreciate our relationship in all its manifestations.