Entries this day: Dear_YRUU MMmmmmm_pies Stranger_in_Strange_Land doug_conversation

Dear YRUU

3:09pm CDT Thursday 24 October 2002

HI

I have just had a conversation with Doug Strong, the minister of Community UU church in Plano.

He is encouraging me to step graciously away from YRUU, citing the concerns of some adults in the district. I asked him who are these mysterious adults and he said the RE directors at his church. He didn't think Jennifer N-P was against the idea of me going to rallies.

But, since I'm not an official advisor at a local congregation, and that I am a single 32 year old man, hanging around with youth to get my socialization...

I interrupted him there. "I do *not* get my socialization from the youth. I have my men's group for that." (Near the end of the conversation I thought of more proof that I don't get my social needs met by the youth: I specifically will not attend young adult activities in the district because that would put me on a peer-to-peer level with some of my ex-youth. Unacceptable.)

I had previously (2 weeks ago) told him that I saw an email indicating that the Houston youth might be planning to honor me at the Houston rally. During this conversation he said he had spoken with a minister in Houston who knew of no such plan. When he said this, I simply acknowledged that it's true that any such alleged plans are not yet set. (It's not surprising to me to think that a minister would not be aware of any such plans; not often have Houston ministers taken the time to help plan the rallies.)

He suggested that it's possible that Nova will ask me to go teach in plan before Houston rally, which would make this conversation moot.

I let him know that for the past six years I have put YRUU events as my number one priority. Above work, above family, above KTRU (and I know how much I love KTRU), above everything. It's not bloody likely that Nova would suddenly have an offer so tempting that I would suddenly decide to not attend my specifically chosen final rally of all. That rally which I've told my youth many times "Houston Rally will be my last rally," with as much cheer as I can, knowing the implications my leaving YRUU will have on some youth. I tell them that YRUU is for the youth and they will have great and wonderful and incredible things to see and do, that this is all in the big scheme of things, and even that I *have* to go to Japan; I have to leave YRUU sometime, and my chosen time is after Houston Rally.

- - - -

I have gotten myself into a predicament that is not a youth issue. It was my own stupid fucking fault and I'm really really sad about it; I wish it had never happened. Never come close to happening. Never even considered the concept.

But it did, and it's still not a youth issue. In my judgement, it shouldn't affect my attendance at rallies. But it has. I am sorry.

I'm going to be talking to more people than Doug. Steve, Debbie, Susie, maybe others. I want the overall outcome to be positively beneficial to my beloved youth.

Know that, no matter what, I am still Rob. And I still love you. I look forward to hearing how you're doing in the world of YRUU and beyond. My email address will be good for a long long time.

rob@robnugen.com

4:14pm JST Tuesday 20 July 2021

I just came across this and still stand by all the above!

MMmmmmm pies

8:04pm CDT Thursday 24 October 2002

Janette and I made pies last night. She did most everything, but I sure did a good job pouring sugar into the bowl as the egg whites were being whipped. (M & M, what is the difference between whipping eggs and beating eggs?) Oh, and I monitored the heavy cream to make sure it didn't turn into butter. Such a challenge it was for me to stop the thing; she said soon it would have turned into butter just like that with a snap of her fingers. Wow.

"Add a little salt and it would taste just like butter," she added.

"Really? Butter would taste like.... butter??"

Oh, I also got to mix peanutbutter and powdered sugar for the peanutbutter pie. I have a very sweet tasting t-shirt on now.

We made banana cream pie and peanutbutter pie.

Oh, and I got to put the merange on the pb pie. I'm an expert meragner I'm sure, especially since I think I'm spelling that incorrectly. Merangue? Wow. I can't even find it on m-w.com.

Anyway, yummy pies.

Stranger in Strange Land

11:22pm CDT Thursday 24 October 2002

Over the past couple of days I have been reading Stranger in a Strange Land to Janette. She had read it a long time ago, and I have never previously read it.

I seem to read just fine for an hour (?) maybe and then my eyes and mouth seem to get desynchronized and/or just make up words. But, I made it through Part I of the book (8 chapters total in Part I), of four Parts.

doug conversation

10:34am CDT Thursday 24 October 2002

I have just called Doug and scheduled a talk with him at 1:pm ish.

yammering about japan

there are adults in the district who think it's time for you to move on.

"yeah well fuck them" I'm thinking.

Gail didn't know about dedication to me so maybe it's not a done deal

he's repeating a story about about japan that he already told me.

re directors at plano

liability issues for someone not involved as a regular advisor

so the fact that I've been an advisor for 6 years means nothing?

they think I am getting my socialization from YRUU.

I told him about my men's group

Because I'm single and 32 and playing with the youth

If you were someone in my congregation, I would tell you to move on. and I know that's hard to hear.

The potenetial liability issue if someone says something.

I would urge you to think carefully about it.

I can understand that you're angry; I would be pissed.

I explained my quandry; I can either not go to the rally and lie to my youth about why. They know my schedule and my priorities. They know I wouldn't let anything get in the way. Except maybe my own death. If anyone else dies, fuck them, they'll still be dead after the rally.

I pointed out that none of the reasons he told me not to go include that it would be better for the youth if I don't go. None. All of them were based on my safety and covering my ass.

He appreciated that I listened to him and appear to be taking his advice into consideration. He also suggested that I talk to other adults to get input from them.