Entries this day: Dream Work sad

Dream

3:19am CDT Monday 10 September 2001

(dream)

Playing a game with YRUUers Adam, Tanner, Scottie, AJ, Noah - basically the game was to chase this tennis ball around teh parking lot. I lunged for it in the dream...

and in real life lunged over and bonked Wende in the face with my arm. "Oh man, I'm sorry! Are you okay?" "Yeah, if you get me a helmet!"

Back to sleep, but then Spot started meowing so I got up to take him down to the meowing-cat-dungeon (guest bedroom), and wrote this entry.

Work

4:49pm Monday 10 September 2001

I cried at work today; felt inadequate and attacked and unprofessional and all kinds of crappy stuff. I tried to hide it with my hoodie pulled up like Ben Kenobi, but I doubt it worked too much considering we were all sitting around the conference room table.

I'm not sure if we're going to make it.

sad

##10:49am Monday 10 September 2001

I feel sad, but not overwhelmingly unable to work tremendous sadness, just a lethargic, don't want to do anything sad.

I don't know if I'm making the right decision, or if I am even making any decision at all. I'm just choosing that YRUU is important to me.

Wende said that I'm a fool to throw away what I've got in her. That she may not be the most active, most adventurous girl in my life, but she guarantees that she is the one who loves me the most and the best.

Am I throwing that away?

Do I not see it? Do I need it? What am I doing?

I want to go to I-group tonight, but I'm choosing to attend Spanish class. Maybe I will request an emergency I group meeting at my house on Wednesday.